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Celebrating Invisible MK Women – February

Lois Hembedoon Adura Esq, Lawyer

Lois Hembadon Adura

Personal testimony of a victim of the paradox of male child syndrome in Africa

Mrs Lois Hembadoon Adura Esq, a lawyer by profession. A wife, a mother of two young children, a girl (13) and a boy (6). An advocate for girl child education. A voice for the voiceless vulnerable widows, barren women and elderly women in need. I am the founder of “Save by Grace” Charitable Foundation. I reside in Milton Keynes, UK with my lovely husband Dr Peter Adura, a Medical Doctor with our kids. I worked for Marks & Spencer plc for 10 years before I resigned to pursue a career in the legal profession.

Brief background: I am the first child out of four girls. My father went to be with the Lord when I was six years old with three siblings and an illiterate mother. Our ordeal started because I came from a community that put preferences on children’s gender, so we were rejected and maltreated because we were female children instead of males.

I wanted to break out of this constraint placed on female members of the community. The only way to do this was to develop myself, educate myself and go out there to impact others even though I did not have the basic elementary education due to my poor background. I had to go back to College in the United Kingdom as a mature student to do Access to Higher Education to get an entry into the University. Having done that, I got admission into the University through UCAS where I obtained LLB, LLM Master’s in International and Commercial Law. (International Oil & Gas Specialist) with an award for outstanding all round performance and making an impact to the master’s program from the prestigious University of Buckingham.

I then proceeded to the Nigerian Law school and was called to the Nigeria Bar as a Barrister and Solicitor of the Federal Supreme Court of Nigeria. I am a member of some professional bodies such as Chartered Mediators & Conciliators of Nigeria and Chartered Administrator & Registrars of Nigeria. I did these professional courses whistle in the Nigerian Law school Lagos

However, I haven’t gotten there yet because, since I graduated, it’s been very difficult to get a job in the legal profession as I have no experience in the area. I had previously worked in the retail industry for ten years as customer service advisor and as one of their credit card advisors. I have minimum experience in the area of my specialty. I would love an opportunity to work in the corporate sector to gain experience and more skills. A closer role I have had in the corporate sector was when I worked as New Business Advisor and Administration with Volkswagen financial services. I am still looking out for job opportunities, whether paid or voluntary roles.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, what are you doing for others?”  This is a quote from Martin Luther King Jr. My experience growing up was an unpleasant one – being abused by people in positions of trust.  We were sent out of our father’s house after his death because, we were girls which my community thinks are not good enough. However, I was Saved by Grace when my uncle who was living in the city heard about it and decided to pick me up to train me. That was when my breakthrough came through. He gave me an uncommon and priceless opportunity to prove to society that, it’s wrong to prefer a male child over a female child. All children are a blessing from God, regardless of their gender.

I have used my experience to write this interesting book titled “Saved by Grace” (click here to learn more about the book) to encourage other girls or widows who are in similar situations as we were to know that sometimes life is going to hit you with heavy bricks but don’t lose faith, be determined, keep looking and don’t settle. ~Life did hit me with heavy bricks but then I pick up the pieces and now I have initiated my Charitable Foundation to help some of the victims with sponsorship and vocational training to help them get a source of income.  I intend to use the proceeds from my book for this cause as well.  My book is an interesting read though a bit emotional particularly the fact that the book achieves four objectives:

(1) It is a Christian Book that demonstrates the power of God.

(2) It is an interesting real-life story about my life, to encourage other women.

(3) It serves as an educational text about the African traditions using the Tiv people from Benue State (Tivpeople live on both sides of the Benue River in Nigeria; they speak a language of the Benue-Congo branch of the Niger-Congo family) in Nigeria’s culture as a case study, and,

(4) It serves as an inspiration to those who are going through a similar ordeal while encouraging well-meaning members of the society to intervene.

I pray for all the readers of this book to find one particular thing in the book that will give them strength in struggle. And an appeal to those who can support my vision and partner with my Charitable Foundation to sponsor one girl at a time to please contact me.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Another quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. Let’s love our children equally.

Being saved has given me an opportunity to save other victims from this Male child Syndrome.

I joined MKSI because when I researched on their International website, they have similar values I would benefit from and use in my Foundation advocating for girl child education and women. I love their passion for charitable acts and as soon as I joined, I made my little contribution towards the Christmas 2020 lunch at YCMA. I am learning a lot from the group. I am currently looking for voluntary roles with any organization to gain experience.