A resource pack for autistic women, their friends & family and others who would like a better understanding of how to communicate with women on the spectrum. You can download this in PDF format from this page.
The prevalence of Autism has been under-estimated in women and girls and this has been reflected in the resources directed at them.
“It is important that autistic women and girls receive a diagnosis (or recognise that they are autistic) so they can understand themselves and access support. However, because of stereotyped ideas about what autism looks like and who can be autistic, many autistic women and girls struggle to get a diagnosis, receive a diagnosis late in life or are misdiagnosed with conditions other than autism.
Autistic characteristics in women and girls may differ from those of other autistic people. They might seem to have fewer social difficulties than autistic men and boys, but this could be because they are more likely to ‘mask’ their autistic traits (though the stress of doing so can result in anxiety and overwhelm). At school, autistic girls may be more likely to be part of a friendship group and this could be a reason that teachers don’t notice their differences. They may also be missed if their academic achievement masks difficulties they are facing in other areas” (National Autistic Society).
Some of the resource information used in the display can be accessed using the following link.
As autistic women we may communicate differently from you.
We can be blunt, with no small talk, not knowing when to begin or join in a conversation.
We can get carried away with facts, give literal responses, misinterpret indirect speech.
We can be too frank, not seeing the invisible social rules.
We worry about others, logically work out what people mean, get flustered.
We misalign with body language, don’t look into eyes at the right times, sometimes mistake body language.
We can have difficulty recognising our own feelings and pain, and how to express these.
We can be strong on emotional empathy, yet have difficulty with
cognitive empathy.
We can be overwhelmed not only with the usual stresses, but also by light, sound, smell, touch and taste.
We sometimes have great knowledge but little understanding.
So autistic women may come across as aloof, disinterested, or
aggressive, when in fact we are very interested, excited, loving and honest.
Cath Dipple
As a teenager I was desperate to receive help in discovering why I was suffering from all sorts of symptoms that were making my life very difficult. Much of it was explained away as “growing pains”, although I was soon enough referred to a youth counselling service.
This led to years and years of mental health interventions, different therapies and multiple crises, in turn hurling me into a cycle of assessments and misdiagnoses.
This is not uncommon for autistic women.
In my own case, I was told that I had ‘Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder’, dysthymia (now more commonly known as persistent depressive disorder), generalised anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. At my worst, I was feeling suicidal, as there seemed to be no answers. I was unaware that there was one diagnosis that would make it all make sense,
but I was decades away from that point. It took persistence and, in the end, a doctor who was switched on enough to suggest that I seek an autism assessment.
There is a lot of overlap between the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and autism, and it’s easy to see that it could be entirely possible to make a misdiagnosis. Even so, it’s frustrating and confusing for the patient, sometimes being on a series of prescription medications which prove ineffective.
However, in the nigh on 35 years since I first visited to my doctor to ask what was ‘wrong’ with me, the conversation around neurodiversity and autism has
matured, and the true voices of women who have spent sometimes decades masking through necessity are being heard.
During World Autism Acceptance Month, we can focus on the positive things that we add to society, raise awareness and promote acceptance and celebrate our differences.
Lucy Dawson
Autistic advocate and blogger, Ambassador for Wiltshire Council
Listen to Lucy talking about her life here: YouTube
